Holizz versus the Web

I got home this morning at 2am. I didn’t mention it here, but I’ve been in the Isle of Man since Thursday morning (left at about 10pm Wednesday).

The ferry wasn’t so good on the way there. I felt ill for most of the time when I wasn’t on deck, so that’s where I stayed for the most part. But on the way back I only went up on deck once and I didn’t feel ill at all.

Yes, it’s five bulleted lists in a dictionary list. And no, I never planned on being a writer. I’m just recording what happened.

Thursday

• Arrive in Douglas (the capital, and largest, city; probably smaller than Leeds but without a hint of vegan-friendly or alternative shops) port at about 6am.
• We get to the hotel (Castle Mona - omae mo na - giggle) and dump stuff in a spare room.
• Then we go to Peel (the opposite side of the country - it’s a tiny island) to a museum about Manx heritage and culture (The Legend of Manannin).
• We dine at a pub with not much vegan food, but it was good food.
• We get back to the hotel and by now they have rooms for everybody so we all go to them. I showered, wrote a draft of a postcard to my Japanese class (which never got sent), and read a bit of Robot (by Rodney Brooks, director of MIT’s CSAIL; it’s really interesting).
• We have tea at the hotel. I have chips, peas, and rice. This is the most vegetarian-/vegan-friendly hotel in the country.
• We go to the Okells brewery for a tour. It was kind of interesting, but it wasn’t nearly as good as the Rum Story in Maryport, which was in the format of a museum, rather than a tour of a brewery, but still.
• We go back to the hotel to sleep (not much of it - there was no sleep on Shelly’s itinery).

Friday

• We have breakfast at some point. I had brought my soy milk so I had corn flakes, and toast (which is what I had most other mornings too, except for one day when there was a bowl of chopped fruit).
• We go to some place (its name is written on the back of Davina’s postcard), and see a traditional village despite it being out of season (as I understand it, the tourist season starts at a set date no matter what else happens - including the student festival of sport and Easter). As luck would have it there was somebody there and they invited us in to this lovely little cottage (the exact same one as on Davina’s postcard) and told us all about it. She made some soda bread while she was doing this and gave everybody a piece to everybody who wanted one (I made some vegan soda bread today - one tablespoon of lemon juice or vinegar and the rest of a cup of soy milk makes one cup of sour-/butter-milk). I took a photograph of a quilt for Davina. That was probably the best place we went to.
• Then we went to the southern coast by the Calf of Man. I broke a big chunk out of my geta by clambering over slate (it wasn’t a chunk that I missed; and it was fun).
• We went to the nearest cafe for lunch. I had soup.
• Then we went up to the northernmost point and went to the beach there.
• After tea everybody bought alcohol from Spar and it was fun, although it is not so fun playing Carcassonne with drunk people when you yourself are not drunk, and actually care when your meeple get dropped in whiskey and wine gets spilt on your box.

Saturday

• After breakfast we went to the Isle of Man’s National Sports Centre. Archery was in the biggest sports hall.
• It was a Portsmouth in the AM, which was okay. It wasn’t great. I only scored 346 (my PB is 419).
• The pub everybody went to had five things on the menu, none were vegan. I went back to the sports centre cafe and they didn’t know what vegan was. I had lettuce in a bap. Twice. (Thrice if you count the time it had margerine on it.)
• A FITA 18 in the PM. This is the first thing I’ve shot that wasn’t a Portsmouth. Sixty arrows at fifteen centimeters less than a Portsmouth on a smaller target face. But there were a hundred other stupid rules (you can’t shoot when you’re on the line until thirty seconds later when a second whistle is blown, non-rolling details) which weren’t explained until I asked Shelly. This really annoyed me (at every single match hosted by Bradford, and quite a few at other NEUAL matches - all Portsmouth - the rules are explained clearly and explicitly despite the fact that almost everybody will have shot them before), and as I was tired from shooting in the morning I just decided not to care. I got 198.
• After tea everybody went to some pub(s) in town while I went to my room to read and sleep.

Sunday

• The AM was a Worcester. It’s the black and white faces (which I like to refer to as high contrast faces) at the same distance as a Portsmouth, five arrows at a time, sixty arrows total. I got 166.
• Everybody else went to Macdonalds, while I walked down the road until I found a garage that sold bread and jam. I then borrowed a knife from the cafe and ate sandwiches on the grass.
• The hanao (thong) on one of my geta broke at some point between lunch and shooting. It’s bad luck to do that, and also I can’t shoot without shoes according to some rule somewhere, so I had to drag my left geta along as I walked.
• I lost the first round of the head to head and immediately took my shoes off. It was FITA 18-style with 12 arrows, then the better archer moved on and the not better archer sat around for the rest of the competition. I got 14. Probably the only other people I know who got less were Bradford’s barebow and longbow archers. I expected that for the head to head they’d picked somebody of a similar skill level for each archer to compete against in the first round. I seem to recall the person I was paired against being awarded some medal at the end of the competition. As it happens, Bradford’s longbow was paired with Bradford’s barebow. It was quite a close competition, but the barebow won in the end.
• Then the awards were presented. Hannah got best female recurve. It makes me happy that somebody who doesn’t seem to take anything seriously can beat a load of mardy buggers (a lot of archers seem to take it far too seriously) and on a club bow at that (against loads of people with expensive bows. Andy did quite well too. As it happens the only longbow and barebow archers (both from Bradford) won in their respective fields.
• All the archers were staying in the same hotel (omae mo na, ahaha) so we all met for a drink in the bar. We managed to have three tables playing board games at one point (Carcassonne, Carcassonne, and Munchkin…un (that was a sigh of lust)). One person from… some archery club, who hadn’t played Carcassonne since their German friend at university graduated played with us. It was a German set she’d used so she was used to different translations, like archetects, cathedrals, and such.
• Somehow tea had become an amazing meal. There were so many yummy vegan things. It made me happy.
• At some point in the bar after tea, some member of staff came up to me and asked if I could put my shoes on because there might be broken glass around. I said that I’d take my chances and he decided to come clean and tell me that it was against their rules, so I ran to my room, ran back, placed my shoes on the floor and put my feet in them. People who tell people to put their shoes on should really be told that anybody who decides not to wear shoes is generally fully aware that there may be broken glass about and that they generally don’t care. It’s ironic that I spent a month in the Summer not wearing shoes by choice without any trouble and the one time I actually don’t have shoes to wear I’m told to put them on.
• We ended up in Oli and Ratan’s room as on Friday. It was good fun. It’s so easy to make Shelly drink at I Have Never. She’s evidently done everything.

Monday

• After breakfast we went to Laxey Wheel (which is on the 20 pound note, and a hundred and one souveneers). Most of us decided it wasn’t worth the cost of going to the other side of a little ticket booth and went to an wildlife thing instead. There were cute animals there, and Ratan kept inquiring as to the health of my bare feet. I got very annoyed at him. I got annoyed at Niall later for telling me I was walking over broken glass (I know you were trying to be helpful, but you really weren’t - I know what I’m walking on much better than you do).
• We came back to the hotel and got all our stuff out of the room we’d put it all in (it was pretty full), and put it in Sam’s car and the minibus.
• We got some food at a little fast food outlet. They did better food than the hotel for the most part, despite the fact that it was all fried. I had two veggie burgers and chips. They’d opened specially for us archers, and charged us less. It was yummy and cheap.
• We then went to the ferry.
• I played a game of Carcassonne or two on the ferry, and missed out on yet another game of Munchkin. I was disapointed.

It was wonderful fun. Shelly and Andy did a great job of organising everything. I barely had a minute of free time; I loved it.

Despite the fact that I have no food at home, it’s better than that stupid hotel’s.

No, I won’t be proof reading this.